The search for relevance.

A friend alerted me to a post on another blog that referenced something I tweeted. The person commented, apparently about my blogging or tweeting, that I am “desperately trying to stay relevant.” And then they said it was “sad.”

My first thought was, Isn’t that what we all want? To be relevant? To matter? Whether it’s feeling like we are valued by the people in our lives, or by vast numbers of strangers in our community, our state, our nation or the planet, I’d say the quest to feel like one matters is one of the primary pursuits of mankind. My excellent high school English teacher, Louis Hill, would have said it was part of the “hooman condition.” (For some reason that’s always how he pronounced it…hoooooman condition.)

People all over the world are participating regularly in online communities, from Facebook and Twitter to blogs, message boards, and various other social media. What’s driving this explosion of communication and creativity? A big part is the search for relevance…the quest to belong…the need to matter. People who, prior to this digital revolution, felt disenfranchised and disconnected from each other, from their government, and from their future, now have a chance to join in the conversation. To participate in the debate. To share their unique perspective and opinions, even if it’s as simple as clicking “Like.”

In Ridgewood, the reach for relevance can be seen in some of our local blogs as well as online news sources like the Ridgewood Patch or NorthJersey.com. Patch and North Jersey are legitimate news sources, with the addition of a comment capability, which is where local residents can find their connection, their relevance. Local blogs, like my own, are pet projects (NOT news sources), with posts reflecting our personal opinions, our individual interests. In the comments section of our blogs is where you can see certain residents grab for their share of relevance. But is there a catch?

I wonder…How much are we participating, how much do we matter, if we only participate anonymously? If we don’t use our name or any other recognizable identifier, are our comments relevant? Are we relevant? Is there a difference? Does anonymous posting only allow us to feel relevant?

I certainly understand that some people are naturally comfortable speaking up publicly and others may be shy. I also know that the “cloak of invisibility” gives some people license to A) say things they don’t actually believe, for the fun of “stirring the pot;” B) say things that are socially or politically “incorrect;” C) use hate speech, bully others and just generally be mean in ways they never would to someone’s face; D) lie. Basically, all these behaviors stem from the lack of accountability that comes with anonymous posting.

And herein lies the monkey wrench. Can we be relevant and avoid accountability? Or when we communicate anonymously, are we simply being relevant-ish? What do you think?

(And, really, I’m not calling you out and demanding only named comments (not yet haha). I’m just thinking out loud and exploring a concept. If you have a thought on this topic, please feel free to comment, by name or by nom de plume or by anonymous…I know that old habits die hard!)

Internet Safety for Parents: June 9 @ BF Middle School

As just ONE part of the complete conversation we should all be having on students' online lives, the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office Computer Crimes Unit will be presenting an in-depth presentation on Internet Safety, hosted by Ridgewood, Allendale, Glen Rock, Midland Park, and Paramus on June 9, 2010 at 7:30 p.m. at Benjamin Franklin Middle School. The presentation, entitled “Staying Safe in Cyberspace – Internet Safety for Parents,” is described as "a comprehensive examination of today’s Internet and the dangers that lurk inside chat rooms, instant messages, e-mail and blogs."

As I've stated before, I believe we as a community need to keep talking about our attitudes toward technology in general and our expectations, hopes and plans for technology in our children's lives. Safety is of course important, so this session -- which has been in the works for a long time -- is worthwhile. But I don't want parents to be so scared that they try to hide their kids from the Internet in general. I hope we will be able to schedule some meetings on the positive side soon!

Anyway, back to this event, according to the press release from the Prosecutor's Office, "Through their dynamic, intriguing and eye-opening presentation, complete with vivid graphics and streaming video clips, the Computer Crimes Detectives hope to educate parents about the seedier side of the Internet. The goals of this presentation are to discuss the basic functions of the Internet, to highlight current Internet trends and to illustrate the associated risks facing children of all ages. After what will be a shocking display of the dangers associated with online communication, they will turn to preventative measures and effective solutions to protect children, many of whom know more about computers than the average parent."

“The explosion of the Internet has proven to be most influential with the youngest of generations, namely our children,” said Bergen County Prosecutor John Molinelli. He continued, “Protecting them on the World Wide Web, a truly unregulated atmosphere, is a tremendous task that needs to begin at home, where children are indeed most vulnerable.”

The press release continues, "The Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office Computer Crimes Unit, including the complementary Bergen County Computer Crimes Task Force, consists of Investigators from around the County and has the vast responsibility of deterring and detecting Internet crime. Many of their cases involve predators who target children through the Internet. To that end, Detectives who combat Internet crime have recognized that their approach must also include a strong education initiative involving parents and children who surf the Web. This proactive mechanism is in place in order to prevent children in Bergen County from stumbling into areas of the Internet where they can fall prey to an online predator."

"Prosecutor John Molinelli and Chief Steven Cucciniello urge all parents and guardians to attend this Internet safety presentation. It is their hope that by having skilled, well-versed computer crimes Investigators, coupled with parents armed with a working knowledge of the Internet and its pitfalls, the children of this County are well-protected while exploring the World Wide Web."

For additional information about this event, please contact Maureen Rusnak of Ridgewood Public Schools at mrusnak@ridgewood.k12.nj.us. For information about Internet Safety related issues, please contact D/Lieutenant Andrew W. Donofrio at ADonofrio@bcpo.net or Educational Outreach Coordinator D/Sergeant John DeVoe at JDeVoe@bcpo.net.

If you're reading this blog, are you out of middle school?

Toward the end of Monday’s Board of Ed meeting, I raised a topic during “other business” that I would describe as having been “hot” over the past week or so. That would be the issue of technology and our students’ access to it. Perhaps you saw the letter that BF Middle School Principal Tony Orsini sent to parents, where he urged them to block their children’s access to all social networking sites, such as Facebook. Or maybe you received GW Middle School Principal Katie Kashmanian’s email in (semi) response, where she took a slightly different approach to internet safety for tweens and teens. Or maybe you saw one of the sound bites online or in the newspaper, since, in the space of 2-3 days, Mr. Orsini was interviewed or quoted by CBS News, Good Morning America, CNN, ABC Radio, Bergen Record, BBC Fox News…and was quoted, re-quoted, tweeted and retweeted among bloggers and others online around the country.

Obviously, Mr. Orsini’s email struck a chord. It’s gotten a lot of attention, and started people talking, which is (mostly) a good thing. It’s definitely gratifying to know that Ridgewood Public Schools have staff that truly care about our students – care enough to reach out to parents and go out on a limb with an important message.

As I said, a conversation has been sparked, and it’s a conversation we clearly need to have in Ridgewood.

To start with, it’s definitely not the school district’s job to tell people how to parent their children. At the same time, we can all recognize that the fallout from some online activities – bullying, harassment, gossip – comes into the schools and can affect both our teachers’ ability to educate and our students’ ability to learn. According to Mr. Orsini and one of the BF guidance counselors who was interviewed, they have been spending an inordinate – and growing – amount of time helping kids who are upset by online bullying, etc. The counselor said on CBS News that recently she has been spending 75% of her time on issues related to Facebook! That’s amazing! I can certainly see how that would prompt Mr. Orsini to act. I do understand his intent – to protect kids.

On the other hand, I don’t want Ridgewood to be the district that’s afraid of technology. Technology such as social networking is here to stay. It has taken hold. It has a lot of benefits and some risk, too. But, in my opinion, circling the wagons and locking the doors is not the answer.

What interests me more, right now, is how this incident has brought out into the light some issues...some mixed messages...and many opportunities for improvement.

Some questions I think we need to consider:

What is our “technology belief system?” What are our “guiding principles?” What is our vision?

How do we reconcile the different approaches of Mr. Orsini, who wants to limit (ban) students’ access to Facebook (for example) and Dr. Kashmanian, who has her own Facebook profile and a “Principals’ Blog” on the GW website?

How do we as a district balance the principles of Alan November, whom the District brought in last Fall, and who advocates teaching students to use technology wisely, with an educator's statement that seems to devalue technology because “90% of student homework doesn’t require going online?”

How do we as a community keep our children safe, protect them from bullies, stop aggressive online behavior, manage anonymous environments and help our kids to be good digital citizens?

How can schools partner with parents to address these issues and together...to create a vision for technology in our children’s lives?

I think these are good, legitimate questions…the basis for a conversation I’d love to have – and have it with gusto.

Hopefully in the coming weeks we can strike while the issue is hot.

I’d love to hear what you think.